Come back to find a passed out kris starfished on the bed and he had moved my pillows to lie on…

My boyfriend is a wee shit.

He blackmails me by saying he’ll shave his beard off and then I’m sad because beardy kris is the best kris :(

onesteppcloser:

imagine right before you fall asleep you get to see previews to 3 dreams and then you get to decide which dream you want for that night.

punacceptable:

my life plan

• plan a: win the lottery
• plan b: there is no plan b
• plan c: refer to plan a

It was the other way round and you bought weed like tobacco and that tobacco was contraband.

Having wee dealers on the streat like “here mate 1.8 fer score five like”.

Oh my god I am in heaven.

Now I get all the cuddles, Netflix, munch and a smoke.

Dad pls stahp, I think he stopped understanding what you said like half an hour ago.

I don’t know whether to be embarrassed or laugh.

francoisdelabooo:

is there actually sims fanfiction

like

how do you dialogue?????

She turned to him, tears traveling down her cheeks, and whispered softly,

“Faloopsinarb, woo fa goo.”

He will never look at her in the same way again.